CORRECTING OUR NEIGHBOR

A MESSAGE FOR THE 18th SUNDAY AFTER PENTECOST

The eighth commandment is a particularly difficult commandment to understand fully, and there are a lot of distinctions that come into play when we are faced with the option of revealing something about the darker side of our neighbor.  The safest way to act is by always having a pure motive whenever we feel we have something unpleasant to say about or to another person.

Above all, let’s remember what Our Lord said: “Physician, heal thyself!”  Hypocrisy is a particularly disagreeable vice, and one alas, that traditional Catholics seem to have a disproportionate tendency to fall into.  We have the true faith, we’ve read the catechism, we know right from wrong in this world where morality has been turned on its head.  And so we sometimes see ourselves as the guardians of truth and virtue.  In a sense we are.  However, we need to be guardians by remaining faithful ourselves to those truths and virtues, rather than by accusing those who don’t.  We are not God’s policemen.  Our first role should be more like doctors, or physicians.  Physicians who must concentrate first and foremost on healing ourselves, as Our Lord says, not on wandering through the world seeking the faults of others so that we may criticize them and drag them through the mud. Our mission is to heal the souls of our neighbor, not to attack him.

It’s easy to fall into these kind of obsessions, in the name of virtue.  And yet, how much more Christ-like would it be to welcome those we perceive to be sinners (whether in reality they are or not) and gently guide them to a greater appreciation of those virtues we hold so dear? This kind of training often takes time and patience.  But the results are worth the effort, and it is far more effective than criticizing and humiliating people.

Sometimes, it is our duty to correct others.  This occurs particularly if we have some kind of authority over the offender, if we’re a parent, spouse, teacher, employer, priest, religious or military superior, for example.  But there are times too when we feel the need to correct one of our peers.  We call this fraternal correction.  The word “fraternal” tells you that it must always be made with charity.  This type of correction must always be done in private, not in front of friends, family, or the general public.  Embarrassing people is very rarely the most effective way to correct their faults.  And that, after all, is the whole purpose of the correction, isn’t it?  To correct someone’s behavior.  Never simply to chastise, to ridicule, to embarrass, or to criticize them.  When we correct, it is to help someone overcome a fault in themselves.  Maybe they’re unaware of these faults, or have developed the habit of committing them without thinking.  When we bring  such acts to their attention, it’s to remind them, as gently as possible, that their behavior is unacceptable and must be curtailed.  It must always be made with the aim of helping that person become a better person, more charitable to his neighbor, and most importantly, more pleasing to God.  And in daring to correct someone else, we must always remain aware that our own faults, especially those hidden faults that only we know, are just as grievous, if not more so, than those of our neighbor.  Let’s never forget that the virtue of humility is the key to practicing fraternal correction.