WHO'S YOUR BUDDY?

 A SERMON FOR THE 17TH SUNDAY AFTER PENTECOST

There are some people in our lives that we really like.  Sometimes, we know instantly on meeting a person that there’s a connection, some spark of common interest or the recognition of a mutual bond of temperament.  There’s an attraction that means we simply like that person, and whether we’re just two ships passing in the night, or whether it’s the beginning of a deep and lasting friendship, my point is that we have no trouble whatsoever in following our Lord’s second great commandment, which is to love our neighbor as ourselves.

And then there’s the other extreme, those other people, that, for one reason or another, we just can’t stand.  We’ve all come across them, and continue to do so on an almost daily basis.  People we just cannot get along with.  There’s no need for me to go into detailed examples.  You all know what I mean, and in your head, you’re already coming up with a few prime candidates for this unenviable position among “the most disliked people in my life.”

Of course, there are hundreds of people in between these two extremes.  And when we think of the commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves, we tend to bring this vast and indistinct group to mind.  They’re the ones we don’t really care about one way or another, so it’s relatively easy to think of going a little bit out of our way to be nice to them.  No problems there, right?  We see a little old lady trying to cross the road, and we’re so proud of ourselves for taking the time to make sure she gets to the other side without getting squashed on the way.  My good deed for the day!  I’m such a good neighbor!

But our blessed Lord expects such deeds from the average Christian, and probably even from the average atheist too.  He knows that most of mankind are decent people at heart, people who know how to be “nice” to people we hardly know, polite and pleasant at all times, like the staff at Chick-Fil-A…  “My pleasure!”  But is this what his great commandment is all about?  Just being nice to folks?  Or is he asking us to rise to greater heights of charity than this?  And when we contemplate this possibility, how many of us start to feel the slight tinge of discomfort, as it dawns on us that the phrase “Love thine enemy” is not something we invented to try and make us “nicer.”  No, it’s a commandment, a phrase coined by our Lord himself in the Sermon on the Mount: “Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.  But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; that ye may be children of your Father which is in heaven.”

Our Lord doesn’t want us to limit our love to those we naturally like.  On the contrary, he points out that “if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?”  What makes us true Christians and unlike the publicans, unlike the atheists and pagans, is that we love our enemies.  If we do not love our enemies, we’re no better than those hypocritical pharisees who love only the people who love us, the folks we “get along with.”  What merit is there in that?

St. Therese of the Child Jesus was, as you know, a Carmelite nun.  Nuns, believe it or not, have the same feelings and emotions that we all have.  They are actually human beings behind those long veils and layers of starched linen.  And they have the same natural attractions and friendships as the rest of us.  They prefer some of their fellow nuns to others.  What made St. Therese different was that she deliberately befriended the nuns she had the least attraction to, the ones she even had a natural aversion to.  These unpleasant sisters lived under the delusion that they were St. Therese’s closest friends, so delightfully well did she treat them.  It’s an interesting lesson from this little saint in which we can all find inspiration.  We need to make that act of virtue called ‘charity’ and show more affection and love to those we like the least.  And when we do, we will find out very quickly that this is heroic virtue that requires a tremendous effort.  Nevertheless, we must give it our best effort, and not allow a young and frail Carmelite nun put us to shame.

So who is your best friend?  Your closest confidant, the one you love the most?  The person you have in mind is actually not your best friend.  He or she may be a great consolation in your life, one who brings you countless hours of happiness and joy.  But if I may, I would like to suggest to you that your best friend is actually the person in your life to whom you most owe the salvation of your soul.  Taking away the most obvious candidate for that role, which is our divine Saviour himself of course, I’d ask you to examine the circle of acquaintances in your own personal life.  Which of them contributed the most to making you a candidate for heaven?  Is it the loving, doting parents who spoiled you rotten when you were a child?  Or is it rather the parents who were strict, who taught you that you can’t always do what you want and took you out to the woodshed when you argued about it?  Do we owe more to a wonderful spouse who has given us nothing but loyalty, support, and affection; or to an abusive spouse who taught us, without meaning to, the virtues of patience, tolerance, humility, and reliance on God alone?  In life, we actually learn more from the bad example of others than from their good example.

By the way, don’t ever think of using that fact as an excuse for giving bad example yourself.  Don’t think you’ll do a better job of getting your wife to heaven by beating her and getting drunk every night.  We all owe God obedience to his commandments, and we can’t love God or our neighbor by deliberately hurting them.  Nevertheless, on the other side of that coin, we can benefit from those poor unfortunate souls who do not love God and who do not love their neighbor, the ones who give us nothing but a bad example.  We can learn from them how not to behave.

So let’s re-evaluate today who our best friends are.  We owe so much to the people we dislike the most.  We owe them a debt of gratitude for helping us on our path of salvation.  They’re forever with us on that path.  They point us in the wrong directions, they try to trip us up, they tempt us to do wrong.  They are the other side of the coin of friendship, the side we can learn from by their mistakes, their wickedness, and their disregard for our own salvation.  Ironically, it is the evil they bring to our lives that makes us better Christians.    Dislike them all you want, avoid them when necessary, but never hate them, never wish them harm, never return evil for evil.  Love them with true Christian love, because if we choose to learn the right lessons from them, they are our best friends!